Online safety & stalking response

Some of these (eg two-factor authentication) will help protect your online safety whether or not you are currently targeted by stalking. Others are specifically about protecting you from a specific person or people you’re worried about.

• Call blocking/call barring: You can block and/or put “call barring” on a person’s number on your phone so they cannot SMS or call you directly. (A web search of your phone model can help you find the way to do this)
• SM blocking/hiding/barring: You can also block them in any messaging apps (WhatsApp, Messenger, etc.) and block or mute or hide them on other social media and dating apps. Depending on the platform, your stalker may be able to see you’ve “blocked” them, but not be able to see that you’ve “muted” or “hidden” their posts. If “blocking” may lead to them finding other platforms/ways to harass you, consider muting or hiding their messages/posts rather than block them so you don’t alert them to what you’re doing. On the other hand, on some platforms, blocking may be the only way to reduce the chance they can see your own posts.
• SM Privacy settings: Change your privacy settings so that only friends can see your posts and profile. Be careful about including information about your location or plans in your posts, and avoid “checking in” or tagging your location.
• Strong passwords: Use strong unique passwords on all online accounts and enable two-factor authentication (2FA) on important accounts. Consider changing passwords to any accounts your stalker might have gained access to. Never share your passwords or 2FA codes with anyone.
• Change your voicemail PIN to something hard-to-guess so the stalker can’t check your messages – even if you rarely receive or listen to your messages.
• If you’re required to have contact with your stalker (e.g. co-parenting):
  • keep a record of all abusive and excessive calls as evidence.
  • Consider whether or not it would help to only respond when necessary.
  • Consider getting a second phone that you can use for everything else, and ask a trusted friend to look after the phone your stalker contacts you on, permanently or for agreed periods of time to give you a break. That person can check messages and let you know when there’s something you need to respond to.
• On apps like WhatsApp, enable two-step verification (so you need your PIN to get back in), and check “Linked Devices” to sign out of any devices you do not recognise. Set the people who can see your profile picture, status and “last seen”, to “Nobody” or “My Contacts” so strangers cannot track you.
• Online presence: Think about using an alias or nickname on public profiles. Log out of sites and remove saved Wi-Fi/Bluetooth/streaming networks from shared computers so the stalker can’t piggyback onto your connections. When researching your rights or doing any online activity related to stalking, use “private” or “incognito” mode on a browser, especially if you share a device.
• Report to the platform: Keep a log of calls or messages and record evidence such as screenshots before deleting anything. You can report to Netsafe, or ask platforms directly to take actions such as removing harmful content, restricting the account, or banning the user. The Australian e-Safety guide provides a lot of information about how to do this for different platforms. Note: Australian law differs from NZ law – so advice from any link with “gov.au” may not pertain to NZ, but the links provided by the apps themselves should pertain to Aotearoa NZ as well as Australia. To stop some forms of non-consensual intimate image sharing (aka “image-based sexual abuse” or “revenge porn”) you can also contact stopncii.org (over 18) or takeitdown.ncmec.org (if the images show someone under the age of 18).
• Contact Netsafe: Netsafe can support anyone being targeted online. They offer:
  • Specialist online harm support. Netsafe provides free, confidential advice through their helpline. They can talk you through your options, help you decide on next steps, and give you guidance on staying safe and secure online.
  • Help with getting harmful or sensitive content removed. Netsafe operates under the Harmful Digital Communications Act (HDCA). While they do not have the power to remove harmful content themselves, they can often help you get harmful material taken down — for example, by guiding you through a platform’s reporting process or by working directly with the platform to have the content removed.
  • Advice and support around illegal online behaviour including stalking and image-based abuse – e.g. sharing intimate images without your consent.

The Ministry of Women’s “Free to Lead” course on online harm may have additional ideas.