Taking misogyny out of mainstream porn

A difficult but not impossible task.

 

At AWC’s “The Problem with Porn” Forum in early October, the four panellists were uncompromising when they explained why they agreed with the forum kaupapa.

“Our ‘enemy’ is not pornography per se, but the sexism, racism and misogyny that saturates most of the most easily accessible porn,” said feminist psychologist Prof Nicola Gavey, in front of a large gender-mixed audience at the Freeman’s Bay Community Hall.

“At this time in the 21st century, when we should be rewriting the traditional sexist script, big business pornography is helping to re-normalise and re-invigorate the old playbook of male sexual dominance and female sexual submission… I find it incomprehensible that we can tolerate a genre that is so systematically patterned in a way that’s denigrating to women and girls,” she said, adding that such porn is “fundamentally incompatible with an egalitarian society.”

Nicola’s colleague, Dr Jade Le Grice (Ngāpuhi, Te Rarawa), gave a moving kōrero about the effect of oppressive pornography on Māori rangatahi, drawing on her own research in the Hokianga and Kaitaia, as well as speaking powerfully and openly about her own experiences more generally. She left the audience with the question: what does it mean to be aroused by your own subjugation, or by the denial of your own dignity – or someone else’s?

Jo Robertson, research and training lead for The Light Project (an information hub about porn and young people), picked up on a similar point. “Boys have said to me ‘I have thought about hurting girls’ and they’re distressed. That’s not a happy place for those kids.” She is also concerned for the estimated 25% of New Zealand children who have seen porn before they are 12. She pointed out they’ve seen porn probably before they’ve held someone’s hand, and maybe before they’ve had a conversation with their parents about sex. Porn will be their likely “anchoring bias”, which means that all their other sexual and intimate experiences may be seen through the lens of their pornographic introduction to sex.

For young regular users, porn is shaping their beliefs about sex: (in one study, a young male user said “I now know how a woman enjoys herself”), and their beliefs about gender: they think girls are weak and passive; boys are dominant, powerful and in control. Porn use is associated with lower condom use and with initiating more coercive sex acts.

However, at the same time as recognising the extreme nature of the material, Nicola cautioned against feeding into the false normalising myths that “most teenagers regularly watch porn”, or that “men and boys are ‘hardwired’ to want to watch porn”, and that “lots of women simply enjoy watching it too” (the attitudes of women who watch porn are usually more complex than simple enjoyment). In her research, Nicola has worked with “many young men who support gender equality, and are uncomfortable with sexism and unethical online behaviour.” At the same time, young men are strongly influenced by their peers about what “it means to be a man”. So “by accepting it as a fait accompli that boys will watch and enjoy sexist pornography, we risk reinforcing that as a norm that boys are then expected to follow,” said Nicola. “Conversely, by helping to interrupt this idea, and amplifying the voices of boys who reject sexism, we may be able to help support others who want to do the same.”

Nicola does have some hope that porn norms will change, just as other once-acceptable cultural norms have now been rejected, such as the acceptability of cigarette smoking and “blackface” entertainment: “I do not accept the status quo as inevitable… Social change can and does happen.”

So what are the solutions? Lizzie Marvelly (Ngāti Whakaue) favours New Zealand introducing compulsory sexuality education in schools. In the meantime, she offers “The REAL Sex Talk”, a free, humorous and evidence-based webseries that includes an episode encouraging young people to think critically about porn.

Journalist Paula Penfold (the evening’s fantastic moderator) asked whether offering more positive versions of sexuality would also be useful, but Jade responded that young people still need to be taught to critique pornography, as ethical alternatives will (at least at first) exist “in parallel” to misogynistic porn, rather than immediately replacing it. Jo pointed out that ethical, feminist porn that prioritises female pleasure, body diversity and sexual diversity already exists – but it’s expensive.

While the UK is attempting to require porn site visitors to prove their age, Lizzie is sceptical about whether such “legislative censorship” really works (“teens know how to get around the internet”). Jo commented that “filtering is very effective for children up to the age of 13-14. Delay is important. Then the best strategy you’ve got at that point is conversation.” Professionals such as school counsellors also need upskilling so they can “navigate the new porn landscape”.

A teenager from the floor asked for advice about how to bring up these issues with her friends. Lizzie suggested she should wait for a good opportunity when, for example, the conversation is already veering towards topics such as sex, rather than bringing it up out of the blue.

“A good way to foster open discussions is to be as non-judgemental as possible. Ask questions.”