After a three-year campaign, violence-prevention advocates today (26 May) welcomed stalking criminalisation, and also vowed to stay vigilant to ensure state agencies use the law as intended.

“We thank everyone who helped make this hopeful day of celebration possible, including those who supported the anti-stalking petition, everyone who made a submission, and politicians on both sides of the house,” said National Council of Women President Suzanne Manning. “Our work together has made real change in the protection of women’s rights and freedom.”

The Chair for the Coalition of the Safety of Women and Children, Leonie Morris, said “We will be watching to see that the law is more than just paper. Police need to take victim-survivors seriously, and have victim-survivor safety as their number one priority.”

Coalition member  Annie Tupaea, kaiwhakahaere of Eastern Women’s Refuge, said her agency welcomed the law, as the refuge has had to expand safety planning with wāhine over recent years due to increased stalking behaviour.

“For the victim-survivors we work with, this law could provide greater validation, stronger protection, and a clearer pathway to abuser accountability. We hope this change will ensure victim-survivors are better heard, believed, and protected.”

Coalition member Shasha Ali, Strategic Development Manager, Shakti Trust, supporting Asian, African and Middle Eastern immigrant women, said the law is sufficiently wide to potentially combat culturally cloaked forms of abuse, and abuse within ethnic communities: “It criminalises patterns of behaviour causing fear or distress, but this will look differently for diverse communities. If implemented appropriately and sensitively, this could help ethnic women seen by Shakti.”

Coalition member, domestic violence expert and researcher Dr Alison Towns welcomed the law and looked forward to a compassionate response to victims. “Police and prosecutors need to be mindful of who is experiencing fear or distress and should not be manipulated by stalkers into charging the victim. Comprehensive training and understanding of the law is essential for justice.”

Coalition chair Leonie Morris also said the law could and should be used to crackdown on online harassment and abuse, and that the Coalition also looked to the government to ensure specialist support and advocacy for victim-survivors of stalking. “This is a new tool to combat rising misogyny, and not a moment too soon. It can’t do everything but we hope it will be used to make a difference.”

The Auckland Women’s Centre has published a new Kaupapa Māori resource written by Tu Tama Wahine o Taranaki about responding to stalking and coercive control, and has also updated its general stalking-response guide. Both community resources are available at awc.org.nz/stalking-response-guide

-ends-

Subsequent RNZ article 26 May 2026, quoting Leonie Morris

Notes on the new stalking offense (see Crimes Legislation (Stalking and Harassment) Amendment Act:

• For stalking to be criminal, a person has to target behaviour at someone else at least twice within two years, and do so “knowing that it is likely to cause fear or distress” to the person targeted.
• Stalking offenses can take place online and/or in the physical world, and can include a wide range of behaviours including watching, tracking, contacting, damaging reputation, damaging property, and “acting in any way that would cause fear or distress to a reasonable person”. The stalking offense may involve other people.
• Stalking often (but not always) happens as part of family violence and abuse.

Coalition for the Safety of Women & Children: Aotearoa Women’s Watch, Auckland Women’s Centre – Te Wāhi Wāhine o Tāmaki Makaurau, Eastern Women’s Refuge, Good Shepherd, NZ Human Rights Centre, HELP Support for Sexual Abuse Survivors, Hestia Women’s Refuge, Hohou Te Rongo Kahukura – Outing Violence, Inner City Women’s Group, Kia Haumaru – Personal Safety Education, National Council of Women Te Kaunihera Wāhine o Aotearoa, Rape Prevention Education – Whakatu Mauri, Respect, Rodney Women’s Centre, Shakti Community Council NZ, SHINE Safer Homes in NZ Everyday, Te Ārai Roa Manaaki Living Without Violence Waiheke, The Backbone Collective, Women’s Health Action Trust, Women’s Refuge – Tāmaki Makaurau, YWCA, Auckland

Coalition for the safety of women and children and Aotearoa Free From Stalking team members celebrate the law coming into force

We are incredibly grateful to writers Tū Tama Wahine o Taranaki, designer/illustrator Jordan Tane (Ngāpuhi) and reviewers, from the Auckland Women’s Centre’s advisory group of Wāhine Māori with lived experience of being stalked, for creating this warm, supportive resource. Tēnā koutou.
Tū Tama Wahine o Taranaki describes the guide as  “designed to reflect Te Ao Māori understandings and increase knowledge and awareness for improved safety and wellbeing across our communities.  We hope that this resource creates space for whānau to engage in new conversations around tikanga Māori ways to support and encourage safe and tika behaviour.”

The guide can be used on its own, or in tandem with our community-collated general stalking-response guide.

Please share, print, copy and distribute this guide as you wish. If you would like a free, higher-resolution version of the Kaupapa Māori guide for printing, you can email us: info@womenz.org.nz

A comedian with a history of supporting expert-led relationships education is supporting calls from Auckland Women’s Centre and others for the government to stop attacking a key tool for the prevention of bullying and violence credited as life-saving.

Comedian Michèle A’Court has joined with experts in education, health and violence prevention in raising concerns the government wants to replace expert-led, inclusive relationships and sexuality education (RSE) in schools with a curriculum that removes all mentions of te Tiriti o Waitangi and LGBTQI+ identities, as well as almost all overt mentions of Mātauranga Māori.

“Experts tell us these attacks on RSE will likely lead to increase family violence and sexual violence,” said A’Court. “This government is breathtakingly contemptuous of the safety of women and LGBTQI+ people, in a world of increased online and offline hate and misogyny.”

The attacks on RSE come after the government last year halted ACC sexual-violence prevention programme Hikitia! For Our Future, stopped funding women’s self-defence organisation Kia Haumaru and dismantled a key Māori expert group in violence prevention. “And after dismantling pay equity agreements, this government yet again shows disrespect for women, among other targeted groups,” said A’Court.

Auckland Women’s Centre spokesperson Leonie Morris said: “Young people have a right to enjoy safe, supportive social connections free from violence. Culturally-relevant and inclusive RSE is the nation’s key tool for preventing stalking, bullying, and violence.”

One young person who has signed the Auckland Women’s Centre’s current petition to bring back Tiriti-based, inclusive RSE noted RSE had helped enormously in “real world situations”: “a friend recognized abusive behavior purely because we spoke about it in health under the RSE stuff and I feel like it saved her life.”

Sexual violence is widespread and increasing among New Zealand teenagers, with one fifth of girls, just over one fifth of young people attracted to the same sex, and nearly one third of transgender young people being victimised in most recent data available.

“We need to be strengthening and updating RSE to better protect our rangatahi from norms that make violence against women and other targeted groups acceptable,” said Morris. “Instead, the government are disrespecting Te Tiriti o Waitangi and also literally erasing acknowledgement of lesbian, bi, gay, trans and non-binary identities. It’s like 1986 homosexual law reform never happened.

“For ideological reasons of racism, transphobia and homophobia, the government wants to replace RSE with a narrow, regressive, exclusionary, monocultural curriculum which will reduce teaching respect for differences, placing our rangatahi at higher risk of experiencing abusive behaviour.”

A’Court hosted one of the first government-funded sexual education videos in 1990, “Choice Not Chance”, about contraception. “So I’ve been passionate about this subject for a long time,” she says. “School is the right place for rangatahi to get expert information on all the things to do with sex and sexuality.”

The government’s “relationships and sex education” proposal (with “sex” replacing “sexuality” in the title) for Years 1-10 is out for consultation until 24 April.  Auckland Women’s Centre is running a petition on Action Station calling for the government to bring back Tiriti-based, inclusive Relationships and Sexuality Education in Schools.

Others such as medical specialists, and the Mental Health Foundation, Rape Prevention Education and Post Primary Teachers’ Association have previously raised concerns with the government’s plans. Sexual Wellbeing Aotearoa has called the government’s proposal “regressive” and “fractured” and says it will “put young people’s safety at risk.”

Most recently, a consortium of 34 education organisations led by the primary teachers’ association, NZEI Te Riu Roa, have also criticised the government’s entire school curriculum overhaul in a joint statement.

The National-led government’s proposed replacement for Relationships & Sexuality Education (RSE) for Years 0-9 is currently out for consultation (as part of the proposed Health & PE Curriculum) until Fri 24 April 2026 – and quite frankly, it’s terrible.

The government’s proposal for Relationships & “Sex” (not Sexuality) Education is regressive, colonial, heteronormative, cis-normative, and monocultural. Their racist, transphobic and homophobic changes from the approach of the fit-for-purpose 2020 RSE guidelines will put everybody at higher risk of bullying, abuse and violence than they would be with good RSE. The proposal does not support children and rangatahi as much as it could or should, to be understanding of themselves and respectful of each other.

The good news: our young people and most of our communities are far more progressive than the current government is, and we have a chance of putting good RSE on the agenda in the medium term. We are keen for as many people as possible to let the politicians know that unnecessarily reducing RSE’s effectiveness as a tool for violence prevention is unacceptable and, that instead, we need to increase its strength as a tool for respect, health relationship norms, safe online behaviour, and self-esteem for all our young people. As with the government’s pay equity cancellations, halting of ACC sexual violence prevention intiatives and de-funding of women’s self-defence, the government’s dismantling of our key, world-leading violence prevention tool is harmful for women and their communities (ie, everyone).

(This guide will be updated as new details and resources come to hand. Last updated: 16 March 2026)

Key points:

Who is the audience?

• Send your submission directly to the Minister of Education, Erica Stanford and – importantly – cc in opposition spokespeople for education (and others who may be able to respond to the request in future), as well as your local MP (list here). You can also cc in spokespeople for prevention of family violence and sexual violence (FV/SV).
  The base list to copy and paste: erica.stanford@parliament.govt.nz, ginny.andersen@parliament.govt.nz, lawrence.xu-nan@parliament.govt.nz, debbie.ngarewa-packer@parliament.govt.nz, L.Upston@ministers.govt.nz, helen.white@parliament.govt.nz, marama.davidson@parliament.govt.nz
  • Labour Education spokesperson: Ginny Andersen
  • Greens Education spokesperson: Lawrence Xu-Nan
  • Te Pāti Māori Co-leader: Debbie Ngarewa-Packer
  • National party Prevention of FV/SV spokesperson: Louise Upston
  • Labour party Prevention of FV/SV spokesperson: Helen White
  • Greens Co-leader & Prevention of FV/SV spokesperson: Marama Davidson

• Also submit to the Ministry of Education using their online questionnaire by Fri 24 April 2026.

What do we/I say?

• You want the decision-makers to know that you care, and that education regarding relationship norms (including consent), sexual self-identity, and online behaviour affects you and/or your loved ones and/or your community as a whole.
• Say who you are
  • in relation to children and rangatahi: student, parent, teacher, aunty, community member etc.
  • if you feel comfortable and safe to do so, you might also state your ethnic, gender and sexuality identities, however you would express them. It may be useful for the reader to know of the lived experience insights and/or solidarity/ allyship that you bring with you – including if you are not part of any group usually targeted by family violence and sexual violence. (“eg, I am a straight Pākehā cis man and I am appalled that the RSE proposal will deny my sons and other people like me access to the tools to understand and respect diverse identities, while understanding and navigating our own privilege.”)
• Say RSE is important, and why you think so. For example, the Auckland Women’s Centre sees RSE as the country’s key opportunity for widespread violence prevention because it is taught to so many children and rangatahi, and it can create health and respectful relationship norms, and support personal and social wellbeing and confidence. Violence prevention is keenly important given a third of women (for example) have experienced sexual violence in Aotearoa NZ. We need a cultural shift.
• List the features RSE needs to include to meet the aims you see for it: For example, in order to be effective violence prevention, supporting healthy relationship norms, mutual respect and wellbeing online and face-to-face, RSE in Aotearoa NZ needs to:
  • Honour te Tiriti o Waitangi
  • Be inclusive of Mātauranga Māori
  • Be inclusive of all genders and sexualities
  • Be taught consistently across schools (while ensuring parents always have the right to remove their children if they wish)
  • Be evidence-based for violence prevention (eg ensure consent education is best practice, and it includes information on how to engage in healthy romantic relationships and identify those that are unhealthy or abusive)
  • Be updated regularly in a process led by experts, including Māori experts
• Write from the heart – from your experience: What can you tell the reader that they cannot see or hear from anybody else? Many of our submissions will say similar things – useful to reinforce shared messages – but it is the story or the phrase which is real experience that will help drive that message home. Eg have you seen positive behaviour which has been influenced by community norms? Have you seen negative or unsafe behaviour which you would want RSE to address and/or aim to prevent in future? What is your vision of the future – for your whānau, your friends – that RSE would help to support?

Further information

• Auckland Women’s Centre also supports the views of other aligned organisations whose information and expertise differ from ours. For example:
  • Sexual Wellbeing Aotearoa has concerns about huge gaps in the curriculum regarding puberty and the body. 16 March: their new comprehensive “Let’s talk about sex ed” page is now live. (Note the govt want to replace “sexuality education” with “sex education”)
  • Backbone Collective’s submission on an earlier draft of the government’s proposal looked at whether RSE would assist children who have already been the victim of sexual abuse or other family violence.
• Look out for our more detailed submission here in mid-April – but in the meantime, the information (including in the updates at the bottom of the page) in  our RSE petition might also be useful. But it’s best to write in your own words – and from your own insights and experience.

Thank you for your care and effort in joining us on advocating for what’s best for the next generation of women and everyone!  Kia kaha, kia māia, kia manawanui!

Here, she talks about why she helped drive the successful campaign to make stalking illegal, with our Aotearoa Free From Stalking team.

I first became aware of the extent of harm to women from stalking when I was on the Inaugural NZ Family Violence Death Review Committee (FVDRC): many of the women killed were talented women who were stalked by the partners or ex-partners before they were killed. Later, I did the evaluation of the fabulous Shine safe@home programme, which has since morphed into the national “Whānau Protect” home security and safety programme run by Women’s Refuge.  Before the safe@home programme, women were regularly being stalked with considerable impact on their well-being and their children’s well-being. The whole whānau was living in terror caused by the stalker, and their lives had become so closed and limited. Stalking commonly involved various forms of surveillance as well as massive amounts of unwanted contact, often at night; various means of damage to their lives and reputations, usually through instigated debt; as well as threats and intimidation, physical violence, and damage to property commonly leaving homes insecure.

Yet many of those working with these women did not recognise the stalking, until the safe@home programme. Safe@home did a wonderful job of making these women and children feel safe –  but as soon as the programme eased off these stalkers began their stalking again. Protection orders were useful in offering some protection for these clients at very high risk because the police were aware of the danger they were in, but charges of criminal harassment very rarely happened.

Little did I know that a year after I had completed this project my partner and I would have firsthand experience of stalking from a local couple, which went on for the next five years. The offenders thrived on police involvement and the police response was completely inadequate. Police treated the stalking as a civil matter, but our attempts to get restraining orders cost thousands of dollars and were thwarted by the male stalker, who never attended court. He was confronting me after dark when I arrived home, throwing rubbish on our property, intimidating us with his vehicle, damaging our property, blocking our exit from our property and disturbing us and the surrounding neighbours with noise after we had gone to bed. We became isolated from our community, and concerned about having friends and family over in case they were subjected to the harassment. A minor criminal offence was brought against him by the police, but the law was completely inadequate and the judge clearly did not understand stalking. My work, health and social life was affected. All this stopped when we eventually sold our house, a huge task under the circumstances, and we have made sure that we have kept our new location hidden from this couple. During this period Women’s Refuge published their report on stalking, but governments failed to improve the law.

Farzana’s Yaqubi’s death brought all these experiences together, and mobilised me and the Coalition for the Safety of Women and Children lead by the wonderful Leonie Morris into action. Here was yet another talented young woman killed by a man because the police failed to protect her. We were seeing social media fuel further harassment and stalking of woman academics, media and politicians, particularly over the COVID period, and we could no longer allow such action to stifle talented women and the movement towards women’s equity. Stalking had become a means of oppressing women’s political action, leadership, independence and talent; children were affected, and it had to stop.

We mobilised with Women’s Refuge, the National Council of Women and others and produced a report on stalking designed to provoke a change to the law to make stalking illegal. When that still was not successful, we wrote the law ourselves, with the wonderful help of Associate Professor Carrie Leonetti at the University of Auckland Law School. Leonie Morris and the Auckland Women’s Centre mobilised young women who were markedly affected by stalking, and organised an open letter from politicians, leaders in the field of family and sexual violence, and academia. Labour MP Ginny Anderson wrote a members bill based on the law we wrote and put it in the Members Bill biscuit tin. We actioned a petition, achieved 20,000 signatures in 7 weeks, and presented it at Parliament’s steps in June 2024, inviting politicians from all of the political parties to attend – which many did, including Ginny Anderson, Marama Davidson and Minister of Justice Paul Goldsmith. At that event, the Minister promised to introduce a bill criminalising stalking by the end of the year. The outcome is that stalking is now in the Crimes Act, and will be actioned in May 2026.

This is a massive positive shift in the legal protections for women, children and anybody who is being stalked. I am delighted that we were successful in getting this new law and I feel enormously proud of the way women, researchers, politicians and the media worked together to make this change happen. Anybody who finds themselves being stalked will have more options for protection in the future.

We have shown that change is possible when you have the wonderful support of women around you, when you insist on it, and will not take no for an answer. The Crimes Legislation (Stalking and Harassment) Amendment Act 2025 would not have been possible without so many wonderful women working in concert towards that end. Politicians, media, non-government organisations, community workers and educators, and academics all came together to support this bill. I want to thank everyone for their commitment to this kaupapa. The work is not finished, as we need educated police, prosecutors and judiciary, but perhaps we are closer to having a safer Aotearoa for all women.

In late November 2025, Parliament unanimously passed the law putting stalking and harassment in the Crimes Act. This means from May 2026, police will have more options to deal with people who behave in ways they know are likely to cause fear or distress. We’re pleased about the last-minute amendment that requires police to notify the victim-survivor before they issue a formal warning to the stalker – this enables victim-survivors to have some control/autonomy (e.g. they can prepare a safety plan in case of retaliation).

Thanks again to everyone who signed our petition last year – this would not have happened without you! Our Aotearoa Free From Stalking team now turns their attention to making sure implementation of the law will be as good as possible for the safety and freedom of all our communities – click here to hear project lead Leonie Morris discussing the need for specialist victim advocates, on RNZ.

Our new Stalking Response Guide

In other good anti-stalking news, we’re also launching a new online resource to support people experiencing stalking/harassment, and all of us – friends, whānau and community members – who walk alongside them: Your options and rights – if someone is stalking you, hassling you or just won’t leave you alone.

The resource includes a summary flowchart of options, explains what stalking can look like, how to think about your safety, what to do if you are worried about someone else being targeted, and where you can go for support. It has information about online safety, keeping a record of stalking behaviour, and the legal options that exist right now, including reporting to the police. (We also plan to update it next year when the new anti-stalking law comes into force.)

We are grateful to the advocates, frontline practitioners, legal experts, victim-survivors and partner organisations who contributed their insight and feedback throughout development.

We hope people targeted by stalking and harassment feel validated, supported and affirmed that the stalking behaviour is solely the responsibility of person doing the stalking. Everyone’s life, mana, dignity, safety, wellbeing and future are precious.

Below is our 4 December 2025 media release:

Advocates’ advice to stalking victims contacting police

A new support guide for stalking victims released today by the Auckland Women’s Centre includes advice about what to do if police don’t take concerns seriously.

“Trust and confidence is currently low in the police, and we really need specialist advocates to advise police on how to protect each victim-survivor of stalking,” said Centre spokesperson Leonie Morris. “In the meantime, we’ve included tips on reporting to police, should victim-survivors choose to do so.”

The guide, entitled Your options and rights – if someone is stalking you, hassling you or just won’t leave you alone includes tips on recognising stalking; increasing digital and physical privacy and safety; supporting someone else being targeted; and legal options. The guide states “stand your ground” if police “seem to downplay” concerns, and mentions police complaints processes.

“Some stalking victim-survivors receive good support from the police, but many others have had their concerns minimised, like the victims in the Jevon McSkimming case and the Michael Forbes case – that treatment is not rare,” said Morris.

“Our key aim with the guide is to ensure victim-survivors of stalking and harassment know their concerns are valid, know they’re not responsible for someone else’s unwanted, intrusive behaviour, and know they don’t have to face stalking alone – friends, whānau and anti-violence services can help support their safety and mana.”

Morris said although the new anti-stalking law is not due to come into force until May next year, police can already respond to certain stalking behaviours. “They can serve a trespass notice, for example, if it’s too unsafe for the victim-survivor to do that themselves, and in certain cases they can currently even charge people with criminal harassment.”

The guide also notes, under the NZ Victims’ Rights Act 2002, “police are legally obliged to treat victims with courtesy and compassion and respect victims’ dignity and privacy.”

Morris said the guide was a step towards an Aotearoa free from stalking. “We’re wanting everybody’s life, mana, dignity, safety, wellbeing and future to no longer be at risk due to unwanted intrusions.”

The guide is available to download and/or read online from the Auckland Women’s Centre website.

Kaupapa Māori stalking-response resource here 

Stalking is when someone repeatedly intrudes on your life without your permission. It is about a pattern of behaviours – no matter who is doing it – that make you scared, upset, anxious or distressed. Some stalking behaviours may be crimes in and of themselves even if they happen just once – threats to hurt you, or physical violence. On the other hand, some stalking behaviours can seem small to outsiders on their own, but if they happen again and again they can become scary and overwhelming. Usually the more it happens and the longer it goes on, the more of an impact it has on the person being stalked.

You shouldn’t have to face stalking, harassment or unwanted behaviour alone – support can help.

The person using stalking behaviour may know you well – like a partner or an ex-partner – or they may be someone who only knows you a little, like a workmate or a schoolmate, or someone from your church or club. Or it may be someone you’ve only met once, or someone who has never even spoken to you, or someone – even a stranger (irl) – who is targeting you online.

Stalking can look different across cultures and communities. Family and whānau dynamics, cultural expectations, hierarchies in workplaces, educational settings, and/or faith-based communities, or collective living arrangements can shape how stalking shows up and how it’s understood – and the approaches which may assist with – or get in the way of – protection.

Sometimes, stalking behaviour can sometimes be dismissed or seen as part of a “normal” part of culture and family, by whānau, relatives or friends. But feeling watched, pressured, scared, or unsafe is a real concern, and never acceptable, no matter who you are or who is stalking you. We all have the right to safety and respect.

Stalking behaviours can include:

• Following & surveillance: The person watches or monitors you, using cameras, drones, spying apps, or just following you around (in person or via GPS on your phone/car). Social media and dating apps such as Grindr can also be used for this. Apps like Snapchat and Instagram can show your location or activity, such as when you’re online or where a photo was taken. Someone might use these features to see where you are, to “coincidentally” appear in the same place, or to keep tabs on who you’re with. They might also use fake or secondary accounts to watch your stories or posts without your knowledge.
• Loitering: They hang around and watch you at places you go (like outside your home, or outside, in or around your work, school or favourite spots).
• Property invasion: They enter your propety, break into, vandalise or tamper with your home, car or possessions.
• Threatening: They make threats (spoken, written or online) of violence, harm or death against you or against people or pets you care about.
• Harassing calls/messages: They call, text, email or message you repeatedly (often at odd hours or nonstop), even if you block them; or they harass others close to you.
• Unwanted ‘gifts’: They send or leave unwanted notes, flowers or other things which disturb you at your home or work or other places you go, or with others you are close to.
• Damaging your reputation with lies, rumours and false reports: They spread false or damaging stories about you online, to your friends/family, your workplace, or in the community; they may make fake complaints or accusations to police, social workers or others to get you in trouble, such as sabotaging your job or studies or reputation generally, humiliating you and making you more isolated.
• Online abuse: They use technology or digital spaces — like social media, messaging apps, dating apps, email, or gaming platforms — to harm, control, or intimidate you. This might include sending abusive or threatening messages, spreading rumours, sharing private images or information, hacking your accounts, or creating fake profiles to embarrass or humiliate you.
• Online stalking: They repeatedly contact, follow, or monitor you online in ways that make you feel unsafe or under surveillance. This can include sending multiple unwanted messages, tracking your location or online activity, using fake accounts or spyware to keep tabs on you, and/or threatening to share private material. Disturbing your peace: They may knock on your door or windows at night, mess with lights, or otherwise disturb your sleep and privacy.
• Doxing: They post your personal and identifying information (like address, workplace or photos) publicly without consent. This might include sharing information about your gender or sexuality without your consent, or ‘outing’ you to make you unsafe.
• Image-based sexual abuse aka “revenge porn”: they share private and intimate photos or videos of you without consent.
• Harassment lawsuits: They misuse the legal system to bother you, which may be called vexatious litigation.
• Exploiting vulnerabilities: They use something about you (like a disability or a family situation) to scare or hurt you.
• Proxy stalking: They get other people (friends, strangers or even children) to watch, contact or harass you on their behalf, OR they do any of the above stalking actions to your children, your close friends or family members or other people that are important to you or supporting you, such as your lawyer, counsellor or advocate.

As part of their stalking behaviour, stalkers will sometimes try to excuse their behaviour by saying:

• They “love you.” But their (declared) feelings are not a reason for them to ‘get away’ with distressing behaviour. And stalking is not a sign of love, it is a sign that someone is trying to control, intimidate or scare you.
• You “owe” them something – for example, romantic faithfulness, attention or information about your own activities. But the person stalking you has no right to you or your time. They have no right to try and make you pay attention to them or make you behave in certain ways.
• They’re “checking up on you”. But you don’t need or want them to check up on you, and it is not their right to decide to do this.
• You’re “crazy” and they’re “doing nothing wrong”. But, as you are bothered by their intrusions in your life, they are doing something wrong.

However it happens, and whatever they say, these behaviours are about power and control, and they are never your fault. The person targeting you is responsible for their own behaviour. Nobody chooses to be stalked. By definition.

Stalking is a crime. The legal definitions of stalking are described here.

Back to Stalking Response Guide main menu

All of these helplines are free to call and confidential. Some of these can help you find local services to support your needs, including culturally appropriate support, and help to connect you with these services.

If you can, getting support from whānau and community is also helpful; see “Reaching out for support”.

In the Kaupapa Māori stalking-response guide, Tū Tama Wahine o Taranaki write: “There are Kaupapa Māori safety services throughout Aotearoa that can help you work through this, to find a directory of services in your area visit [the Ministry of Justice’s safety service list.] Or search ‘Kaupapa Māori family violence support [your region]’.”

Unless otherwise specified, all the services below are available 24/7.

For family violence

Women’s Refuge: Call 0800 REFUGE (0800 733 843)

24/7 helpline for women and non-binary people experiencing family violence. They offer crisis intervention, safe houses, community advocacy and more.

SHINE: Call 0508 744 6332 or chat online www.2shine.org.nz

24/7 support, information and support for wellbeing and safety from family violence.

Shakti Aotearoa:Call 0800 SHAKTI (0800 742 584) or email crisisline@shakti.org.nz

24/7 multilingual helpline for migrant and refugee women facing violence.

Are You OK? (family violence helpline): Call 0800 456 450

For sexual abuse/harm

Safe-to-Talk (sexual abuse/harm support): Call 0800 044 334 or text 4334

Shama National Response to Sexual Harm (multiethnic, limited hours): Email crisis1@shama.org.nz  or call 07 8433810. Shama also offers support for ethnic women experiencing family violence.

Hohou te Rongo Kahukura national sexual harm support service for Takatāpui and Rainbow people (limited hours) intake@kahukura.co.nz   Also offers support re experience of family violence.

For elder abuse

Elder Abuse Response: Call 0800 32 668 65 or text 5032

Age Concern NZ: Call 0800 65 2 105

For mental health support

1737 (mental health support): Call or text 1737. Trained counsellors if you feel anxious or overwhelmed.

Criminal justice system

NZ Police: Call 111 if you are in immediate danger. For other police help, call 105 or use the online reporting portal at www.police.govt.nz

Victim Support | Manaaki Tāngata: Call 0800 VICTIM (0800 842 846).

Free, 24/7 support for any crime victim. They can advise you, accompany you to police or court, and help you understand your options.

Victims Info (non-interactive): www.victimsinfo.govt.nz

For online abuse

Netsafe: Call 0508 NETSAFE (0508 638 723) or text 4282. (limited hours)

Takatāpui/ Rainbow support

OutLine mental health peer support (limited hours): 0800 688 5463.

Rainbow Youth helpline (for young people, limited hours): 0800 376 633.

Hohou te Rongo Kahukura – free resources & recovery services for Takatāpui and Rainbow people experiencing violence (see also ‘for sexual harm’ above) www.Kahukura.co.nz

For financial abuse

Good Shepherd (limited hours): www.goodshepherd.org.nz

For legal information

Community Law (limited hours): www.communitylaw.org.nz 

All of the above services are free and confidential. You can ask them to connect you with culturally appropriate support. Whānau and community support (manaaki) are also important; consider talking with extended whānau or your local marae for help and guidance.

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You are not alone. By taking the sometimes daunting step of reaching out, you are helping to protect your loved ones and the community as a whole, as well as yourself. You have the right to support and safety. You have the right to live without fear. Your life, safety, mana, dignity, wellbeing and future are precious.

Back to stalking-response main menu

Changes to the proposed anti-stalking law are welcome but they don’t go far enough say community victim advocates.  

Leonie Morris, Manager of the Aotearoa Free From Stalking (AFFS) project at the Auckland Women’s Centre, says it is unlikely the bill will cover stalkers who are deluded or lying about how they think their behaviour will be received by their victim – “and those are big categories to say the least”.  

“Large numbers of stalkers say things like ‘I love her, therefore she must really love me texting her hundreds of times a day’ – even if the woman has shown little to no interest in the stalker,” says Morris. “The current bill’s lack of clarity around this risks upholding rape myths like ‘women don’t really mean no when they say no’.” 

The bill states that police can warn people their behaviour may be considered a stalking offence if they continue, but police are not required to notify the victim before they warn the stalker. 

“It is vital victims are notified if police are contacting their stalkers,” said AFFS Kaiwhakatuhono Awatea Mita. “Stalking is often part of intimate partner violence, and a visit from the police can be cause for someone using violence to retaliate against their victim.” 

The AFFS advocates emphasise the law will only be good as its implementation. 

“While we welcome the proposed changes to the bill which make it better than the legal status quo, resources and planning are now required to ensure police take a victim-centred approach,” said Layba Zubair, AFFS community organiser. “As the tragic death of Farzana Yaqubi and, more recently, the Michael Forbes case both show, we need adequate police training now about serious, victim-centred responses to stalking and gender violence more generally.” 

Auckland Women’s Centre is the latest in a growing number of organisations expressing serious concerns regarding the draft Relationships and Sexuality Education (RSE) Framework for schools.

Leonie Morris, Project Lead for the Centre’s Aotearoa Free From Stalking campaign described the draft framework as “a significant failure in supporting the diverse needs of tamariki and rangatahi in Aotearoa”, due to its erasure of trans and non-binary people, and of Māori culture and because the Centre considers that the framework’s treatment of consent is inadequate. Ms Morris called the government’s recall of the previous guidelines as “jeopardising the next generation by using their safety as a political football in an imported culture war”.

Her comments come in the wake of strong criticism of the draft framework from health and wellbeing organisations such as InsideOUT and Sexual Wellbeing Aotearoa.

“RSE should reflect and affirm diverse identities, and equip students to build relationships grounded in respect, care, and equity,” says Ms. Morris. “This draft falls profoundly short of that goal.”

The draft guidelines completely omit reference to gender diversity, including the experiences of transgender and non-binary young people.

“This is a harmful act of erasure. Trans and non-binary rangatahi already face disproportionately high rates of harm. Excluding their realities not only invalidates their identities but also entrenches marginalisation within educational spaces,” said Ms Morris.

Concepts central to Māori understandings of identity and well-being are also entirely absent from the revised guidelines.

“The removal of all references to iwi Māori and te ao Māori is deeply concerning and breaches the Crown’s responsibilities to uphold te Tiriti o Waitangi,” said Ms Morris. “This exclusion strips the curriculum of cultural relevance and actively undermines equity for Māori students.”

Comprehensive information about topics such as body image, gender stereotypes, media influences, staying safe online, and pornography needs to be added, and should begin prior to young people’s ability to access the internet, said Ms Morris. “Gender stereotypes can fuel serious problems like bullying, sexism, harassment, domestic abuse, and gender-based violence. Inclusive, comprehensive RSE equips students with the tools to recognise and resist harmful behaviours early.

“Stalking often stems from distorted beliefs about relationships—beliefs that are often shaped in adolescence,” said Ms. Morris. “Effective RSE challenges myths, such as the idea that persistence equals love, and instead fosters respect, boundaries, and consent.”

Gender violence is endemic in this country – the NZ Crimes & Victims Survey shows around a third of women in Aotearoa New Zealand have experienced sexual violence, and more will have experienced other forms of intimate partner violence.

“Education is our strongest tool for violence prevention,” said Ms. Morris. “When young people are equipped with knowledge and empathy, we nurture a generation committed to respect, consent, and safety.”

Public submissions on the draft RSE Guidelines are open until 9 May via the NZ Curriculum website. For further information, people can also visit the Auckland Women’s Centre’s RSE guidelines page.